Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
