then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
