Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
