She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
