She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
