You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
