Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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