I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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