Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
