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? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
