i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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