I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
