my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
