remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
