you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
