This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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