Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize