theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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