I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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