So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
