I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
