trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
