is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize