Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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