you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
