do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
