I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
