Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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