She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
