So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
