this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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