She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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