FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
