I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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