I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
