hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
