i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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