so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The air was thick with penises
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
