Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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