Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
