my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize