dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
