OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
