The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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