Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
