I can tuck mytits in my pants
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
