Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
