dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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