youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
