i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
