he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
