I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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