You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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