fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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