i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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