Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
