Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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