It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
