Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
