you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize