Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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