his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
