my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
