he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
