I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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